Thailand

Thailand, you wonderful country, you. What a needed reinstatement of all that is good and pure in the world. Sure, I didn’t take a plane straight up into The Garden of Eden itself, but a little exaggeration never hurts.. right?

We were staying in the fairly touristy parts of Thailand. Bangkok on the main land, and then three islands (Phuket, Phi Phi, and Krabi). I am unbelievably fortunate to have such a high beach vacation standard set from our family trips to Kiawah Island, and while nothing quite compares to sneaking into a private beach club and scarfing down 18 servings of dippin dots, I will say that my standard has met it’s match with the beaches in Thailand. Turquoise lagoons, cave beaches, white sands, jungle meets ocean. All my other family vacations were near-death experiences, most involving the rationing of food and toilet paper, and squashing all five of us in a tent made for three.. so slightly different ball park.

Bangkok was a scene straight out of The Hangover. Did you know that, in order to recreate the iconic movie shot of the four guys sat, head in hands, on the steps overlooking the city, you need to pay $45 USD? So, broke as we are, we decided to recreate the night instead.. Kidding. Kind of. Fewer tigers. A shocking discovery I made far too late in life is that all the women on Khao San rd in short skirts and bras are actually men. I guess I should have known, they really do spell it out for you with the term “ladyboys”. My bad. I’ve been aging myself on this trip. I’m not woke enough.

The food in Thailand is phenomenal! The 7-eleven’s are the real deal. Although, we agreed that the best food places are the locally owned restaurants with plastic chairs and a grandmother who doesn’t speak english. There was a Tim Hortons!!!!! I gotta say, Asian Tim Hortons knows what it’s doing. The flavours were elite. I don’t know if it’s just a tourist grab, but food stalls are very experimental. I’ve seen far too many roasted bugs, scorpions, alligators, ducks, etc. Emphasis on seen, not tasted.

Apart from Khao San rd, we wandered the temples of The Golden Buddha. He’s HUGE, by the way. Like, toe the size of my body huge. The architecture was very ornate, golden, and ceramic. I haven’t seen a plain brick in weeks. Can’t lie, I don’t miss ‘em. We also wandered the malls of Bangkok on a rainy day. Every single store is just filled to the brim with knock-offs. Since when did outdoor brands become a luxury label people will buy fakes of just to show-off? Probably when you started having to take out a second mortgage to afford an Arcteryx beanie. But still! Can anything be left genuine anymore?! If there’s one thing my Milne blood has taught me, it’s that gear is never to be skimped on! I’m currently walking around Bangkok in a Patagonia rain jacket I’ve had since I was 12. Bone dry.

I do wish I had explored off the beaten path a bit more. We lounged on the beach for most of our days. It’s just that a lazy day on a beach in Thailand is better than the busiest day in Barrhaven, Ottawa, so it’s hard not to spend everyday soaking up the sun. We did get quite a few patches of rain and storms as run-off from the typhoons nearby, but the sunny days outnumbered and made up for the cloudy ones. Actually, our cloudiest beach day, when we sprawled out and swam unphased as a dark storm rolled in, was the day we got the worst sunburns because the UV is still riskily high despite the gloomy appearance. I haven’t played in the waves in the ocean in so many years and I was so happy to be tumbling around in the water like a kid again. The riptide is crazy though. There’s a row of Thai lifeguards lined up along the beach with seadoos because every few minutes somebody will get swept away and they’ll need to drag them back to shore.

I also went snorkelling for the first time! It was SO COOL! It’s making me so much more excited for the reefs in Australia. My bank of fish species comes exclusively from Finding Nemo, so I tapped out after clown fish. There were probably about a hundred more, I just couldn’t tell you which. Rainbow fish? Long-nosed silver fish? SHARK! We swam with the black tip reef sharks! They’re small. We went to the famous cult beach from the Leonardo DiCaprio movie, “The Beach”. We also went to Monkey Beach where it’s literally just a free-for-all as monkeys try to take all your belongings. The tour guides drop you off, tell you not to make eye contact or smile at the monkeys, and just watch from afar. I felt more a zoo exhibit than I think the monkeys did. I guess they interpret teeth as a sign of aggression, which does not bode well for me seeing as my most prominent facial feature is in-fact my pearly whites. My grandfather was an orthodontist! If I’m going to have perfect teeth, they may as well stand out, right?! I went for a solo-hike in the jungle one day, and I came across these wild monkeys and followed ALL of the advice but still got snarled at and sprinted the entire way out. I do not recommend hiking by yourself during Thailand’s off-season. That jungle does not expect visitors during its rest period and it shows. I also do not recommend stepping off any sort of trail here either, as I did also get snapped at by a ginormous lizard. This was a different day on a more crowded trail, and I was henceforth identified as “lizard girl”, and tourists kept coming up to say “what a near death experience there, mate!”. Okay pal, you clearly have never been on a hiking trip with my dad. I can handle a lizard.

We also went to the famous Muay Thai bar, where there’s a big ring in the middle and audience members volunteer to fight each other. It’s not my scene, but I went and I saw. Andrew and Sarah also went to a real Muay Thai fight in a stadium. It’s a cool culture, they get really into it, but unfortunately fighting is simply not my type of sport. I highly recommend looking into fights if you’re in Thailand though, it’s like our hockey. The atmosphere is electric.

I watched one of the most magical sunsets. I was sitting out on the tip of our boat, in the middle of the ocean, watching the sun set over an island cliff right in front of me. It felt like the sun was setting two inches from my face. This is another moment where I was able to slow my brain down and think clearly. I sound like a broken record repeating that this has been a reflective trip for me, but it truly keeps proving itself to be. I’m realizing that, all of a sudden, I’m standing on the other side of my “end goal”. I’ve used school as a crutch for as long as I can remember, a reason to put-off thinking about so many things. My end goal was always just “finish school”. To be honest, a lot of times I didn’t think I’d even achieve that. And now, I’m standing on the other side? I’ve made it.. and now what? This was always just a blank space in my mind. I’m just feeling like, now that I don’t have that pond of a safety blanket, my mind is swimming in this much bigger ocean of what does an adult, happy and fulfilled life really look like to me, and how the heck do I get there?! I’ve always been fairly philosophical, and I’ve found that with all this opened-up mental capacity, I’ve been diving into some more spiritual and theoretical areas of personal growth. I’m able to think beyond the literal logistics of day-to-day. A cool phase of life.

Overall, Thailand was awesome. I do feel like it’s hard to get a taste of local life or backcountry experiences because it’s so tourist-oriented that it’s hard to stray from what’s handed to you.

ATTN EVERYBODY: I HAVE PASSED MY MATH TEST.

See you all in Vietnam!!

AledaBeda